How to Propose to Your Partner
1. Prepare What to Say for Your Proposal
So you’ve decided to pop the question to the love of your life. You’re both excited and nervous. You want your wedding proposal to be memorable because it signifies a big turning point in your lives together. So how do you go about it?
A good rule of thumb is to have your proposal speech last for about a minute. Anything shorter may leave your partner feeling underwhelmed, and anything longer may make your speech feel dragged out (Pro-tip: save the long and wholesome speech for the actual wedding day!).
Because you’ll most likely be choking with emotions when the time comes, it’s important to prepare a few dot points about what to say. Here are several ideas on what to say when proposing to your partner:
How you first met
The story of how you fell in love
What you love most about them and your shared experiences
Talk about your dreams and how you want to spend your lives together
End with the classic proposal line “Will you marry me?”
2. Proposal Script Example
It was a beautiful day when we first met. I was out at the park, enjoying the sunshine, when I saw you walking towards me. I was struck by your smile and the way you carried yourself. I knew I had to say something to you, so I asked if you wanted to grab a coffee together.
As we sat and talked, I realised that you were not only beautiful on the outside, but you had a kind and gentle soul. I was captivated by your intelligence and your passion for life. It didn't take long for me to realise that I was falling in love with you.
One of the things I love most about you is your ability to make me laugh. No matter how tough things may be, you have a way of bringing light into my life. I am so grateful for your love and support, and I know that together, we can overcome anything.
My dreams for our future together include building a happy and loving home, and creating a lifetime of wonderful memories.
I cannot imagine spending my life with anyone else, and I cannot wait to start this new chapter of our lives together. Will you marry me?
3. Know Which Knee to Kneel On When Proposing
The act of kneeling when proposing is usually done on the left knee, and is traditionally a sign of reverence and deep respect to a higher ranking person [1]. On the other hand, kneeling on the right has been reserved for the sacrament — a religious ritual where one receives divine blessing [2].
We’ve chosen to answer this question because it’s a surprisingly common query! In reality though, it probably doesn’t matter which knee you kneel on, and your partner will probably feel ecstatic regardless because of what the act symbolises.
Ultimately, we recommend busting a few reps of split squats to see which knee feels more stable and go with that.
4. Keep Your Proposal a Secret
To surprise or to not surprise? As a rule of thumb, you should keep the details of your proposal a surprise. This is because there’s usually a good amount of build-up leading to the proposal in modern relationships. On average, couples spend 4.9 years together before marriage [3].
Plus, questions like ‘how was the proposal?’ or ‘did you know?’ are sure to come your partner’s way as soon as you announce the engagement. You’ll want your partner to have a story to tell! Ultimately, it’s about putting in thought and effort in the proposal so that your partner feels appreciated.
Regardless, we recommend knowing what your partner’s expectations are to avoid disappointment. Here are a few tips on how to keep your proposal a secret:
Choose an appropriate backstory
Don’t change your routine
Hide the ring (Pro-tip: don’t keep the ring at home)
Don’t tell anyone unless you need their help
Completely turn off notifications (messages from vendors and friends that accidentally giveaway the secret are more common than you think)
5. Buy the Dream Engagement Ring
According to a 2021 survey of 300 women in serious relationships, 96% of them wanted to be involved in the ring choosing process [4]. The survey found that these women preferred a unique and personalised ring, and didn’t want leave the ring of their dream to chance.
We highly recommended discussing with your partner about the specifics of the ring, or attending an engagement ring consultation in-store (but make sure to keep everything after a surprise!).
Alternatively, you can also purchase a placeholder engagement ring — an inexpensive ring that acts as a stand-in for the proposal. You can then happily go ring shopping with your partner afterwards.
6. Choose Where to Propose
If your partner is sentimental it will be extra special if you choose a location that is meaningful to your relationship. This will be different for every couple but here are some ideas:
Where you first met
Where you had your first kiss
Where you first fell in love
Your favourite date spot
Your safe, comfy place (this could be your home or your go-to cafe or park)
To choose a personally meaningful or sentimental location to propose, go with what feels the most right to you. You also may want to incorporate your favourite activities to do as a couple on the day you pop the question to add meaning and joy to the day.
If your partner isn’t the sentimental type or you are wanting to choose a location for the wow factor, there are plenty of proposal locations around Melbourne and across Victoria that are sure to impress.
Alternatively, proposing on a holiday is a popular choice — a survey of 4000 couples found that 38% of proposal took place on a holiday [5]. If you and your partner love travelling you can propose at your holiday destination. You may wish to propose in front of an iconic location in the area you’re visiting or during a romantic dinner. To make it extra special, choose a holiday location you have been to before and loved.
7. Receive Blessings From Family and Friends
In general, asking your partner’s parents or other close relative for their blessing may be something you’d want to consider. This is particularly true if they are more traditional. Plus, it’s polite to let them know your intentions and can serve as an opportunity to connect with your future in-laws on a personal level.
Letting your friends know about your proposal intentions can also be a good idea because they’ll be able to help you plan and set-up the proposal. Be sure to invite your partner’s friends as well if you’re having a surprise engagement party after! One caveat though: try to involve as little friends as possible to avoid the risk of ruining the surprise!
8. Hire a Wedding Proposal Photographer and Videographer
There are only a handful of moments in life that are as genuine and joyful as your proposal. The obvious reason to hire a proposal photographer is that they can help you remember and cherish the moment for years to come. The photos are also great for announcing your engagement to friends and family in a more personal and memorable way.
Finally, a more experienced proposal photographer can help in the planning process and help you avoid common mistakes. We know how nerve wrecking planning a proposal can be so don’t be shy to reach out!
9. References
Wikipedia. Genuflection. [Online]. Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genuflection [Accessed 13 December 2022].
Doyle, K. Which knee should I genuflect on?. The Arlington Catholic Herald. Weblog. [Online] Available from: https://www.catholicherald.com/article/columns/which-knee-should-i-genuflect-on/ [Accessed 13 December 2022].
Smith, C. Average Time Dating Before Marriage in 2022. Wedding Stats Org. Weblog. [Online] Available from: https://www.weddingstats.org/average-time-dating-before-marriage/ [Accessed 13 December 2022].
De Beers Group. Engagement Expectations Study Reveals What Women Really Want in a Marriage Proposal. PR Newswire. Weblog. [Online] Available from: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/the-knot-and-de-beers-group-engagement-expectations-study-reveals-what-women-really-want-in-a-marriage-proposal-301430924.html [Accessed 13 December 2022].
Hitched Co. The 8 Most Popular Ways to Propose Revealed. Planning Essentials. Weblog. [Online] Available from: https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/organising-and-planning/best-ways-to-propose/ [Accessed 13 December 2022].